Dung of Darkness – Redux

Many months ago I signalled my intention to guest blog for wideworldseeker.wordpress.com, and its mysterious leader King Chewbacca. I initially came up with a Heart of Darkness (Joseph Conrad) slash Apocalypse Now (Francis Ford Coppola) tribute within which I would be sent on a mission to assassinate the aforementioned primate monarch. Then I rejected the idea and tried to come up with something else. And, finally, a couple of days ago I returned to that initial conception, and the following is the result:

Awkward Conversations with Burnzy

The journey to Bali in a stolen Indonesian ‘feral’ boat from Broome, Western Australia, took two days.  It was quickened toward the end of day one, when an Australian Navy ship under the guise of Operation Sovereign Borders towed me to the maritime border, unhooked my vessel and steamed back south.  Once the cries of “Tony Abbott says stay out!” subsided, I called back, from my slowly sinking boat: “Thank you!”  Little did they know I’d been tasked by their very own government, albeit confidentially through ASIO, to reach the tourist island off East Java and execute a mission which “had, did and would never exist”.  The mission was simple: an Australian national had set himself up in the Ubud Sacred Monkey Sanctuary as the leader, and in fact king, of a group of monkeys, one white tiger, a kidnapped drop bear and the attractive female host, known only as…

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