Waltzing Matilda and hot German backpacker


I’M 500 kilometres from Mount Isa when I wake in a motel room in Winton, central Queensland. Plenty of time to make  it to the Irish Club at 7pm for the work Christmas party.

But.

I get distracted at the Combo waterhole. It’s supposed to be the setting in Waltzing Matilda. I’m excited. I get a little carried away. I blame the 41 degree heat.

I reenacted the photos from the song. It wasn’t bad considering I didn’t have a tripod, a sheep, any law enforcement officers, a tucker bag. But thanks to a handy fork in a Coolibah tree, and some “subtle” changes in the song, I managed.

Once a jolly swagman camped by a billabong, 

under the shade of a Coolibah tree. 

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And he sang as he watched and waited till his billy boil [shut up! I forgot that part]

You’ll come a Waltzing Matilda with me. 

Down came a jumbuck to drink at that billabong, 

Up jumped the swagman and grabbed him with glee. 

And he sang as he shoved that jumbuck in his CAMERA bag [Shut up! That’s all he had on him]

You’ll come a Waltzing Matilda with me. 

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Up rode the squatter mounted on his thorough-bred

Down came the troopers One Two Three

Whose that jolly jumbuck you’ve got in your camera bag, 

You’ll come a Waltzing Matilda with me. 

Up jumped the swagman sprang in to the billabong

UP YOURS, said he

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And his ghost may be heard as you pass by that billabong
You’ll come a Waltzing Matilda with me.

Waltzing Matilda Waltzing Matilda

You’ll come a Waltzing Matilda with me
And his ghost may be heard as you pass by that billabong

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You’ll come a Waltzing Matilda with me.

So yeah, that filled in some time. But there’s more pure Australiana to fill into this story. You see, further up the same road is a place called McKinlay.

There’s one interesting thing about this town. It happens to have a pub called the Walkabout Creek Hotel.

It’s the pub in Crocodile Dundee.

So I’m driving past when I see a bunch of people standing at the front of the pub. And I’m thinking “what’s happening here?” So being a journalist I stop the car and change out of my muddy swimming gear and walk up to the pub.

A middle aged couple are getting married in the pub, and the reception is open to anybody. Wedding gifts are donations to the Royal Flying Doctor Service.

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This drunk middle aged publican of another pub 200 kilometres away buys my drinks. He shouts “this better be front page of your newspaper. Front page! Front page!”

I said I would try to get it front page.

“Bullshit!” he shouted. “It better be front page.”

A blonde haired girl with the lightest blue eyes I have seen walks to him and talks in a German accent, placing me into this conversation triangle. I talk to her and the publican says “oh, are you single?” and a bit later, “I’m sorry, I’ll go away” and makes a big show of it, embarrassing her and I.

But when he does go subtly she and I talk despite the loud music and the cackles and jeers from across the Walkabout Creek Hotel. I cannot remember her name, but I know she works at the petrol station, that she lives in west Germany, that she has never eaten Vegemite, that she is in a gap year from High School and intends to study economics at university.

“This is my first Australian wedding,” she said. “Are they all like this?”

I tell her no. This is quite casual. I think she seems relieved. She asks about Mount Isa, and I say that if she visits there’s a cinema and several pubs and clubs, and if she visits we should hang out. I think “oh well, might as well go all the way” and I put my number in her phone.

I leave shortly when she goes to Skype her grandparents, but she seems surprised I’m leaving so soon. I tell her I’ll be at the hotel’s Christmas party next Saturday night. What have I done! It’s 200 kms from where I live and I have work the next day.

But I take the wrong car. I steal the prop from Crocodile Dundee instead.

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4 thoughts on “Waltzing Matilda and hot German backpacker

  1. Hey, Chris B – – – You are confusing me.

    For starters you say you are a German backpacker

    Then in the Forum of mindfucked up’s *re-blog* YOU tried to make out you were a sympathetic muslim.

    Now you are pretending to be an Australian.

    YOU AIN’T EITHER ! ! !

    OR ARE YOU?

    Which one are you???

    🙂

    I suppose you could be a German muslim, but NEVER an Australian.

    😉

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