All around me. Other people. Doing things. I must avoid them all. I live in a capitalist society. If I avoid them, they cannot profit from me. If I avoid them, they can’t realise they have nothing to gain from me, and that they must ensure my death. They’re doing things right now. Profiting from others. Taking from them. Giving little if anything in return. I answered the phone to a telescammer yesterday. Listened to the opening spiel. Then sighed, and said “You think we’re stupid don’t you.” He asked why would he think we’re stupid. I hung up. Shouldn’t have picked up in the first place. Because he was a person. I should have avoided him.
I’m seeing a psychologist soon. But I don’t want to. Because she’s a person. I’m taking my partner. But I don’t want to. Because she’s a person. I don’t want the psychologist’s help because she merely seeks to profit from me. I don’t want my partner’s help because I don’t want to burdern her. I don’t want anyone’s help because it leaves me open to be profited from. Or it makes me a burden. I want to be valuable to people, without losing that which makes me valuable in the giving. I just want to be. It’s a cliché. And not a realistic one. Because we can’t just be. Because we have to do things. We have to be people. And we have to profit from other people. And hope that when we die it’s because our body is simply finished. Not that we’ve had everything taken from us. By people. I must avoid them. So I am. But they’ll be back.