Haven’t blogged much lately. Been too busy working a menial full-time job, playing video games, watching movies, drinking, and being in love. The big kind of love. Not love of a good meal. Or love of a song, new or old. Instead, love for and with a young woman. I thought, when I fell in love with her, that she’d become my muse – which so many unrequited loves of mine have in the past. But I guess that’s the difference, with muses: that the unrequited always foster more inspiration because of the longing, the dissatisfaction, the deliriously unreasonable romantic fantasies they conjure. That’s not to say though that requited love has been disappointing from the point-of-view of expectations. It’s just that falling in mutual love with someone inevitably results in less time for other passions, such as writing.
It’s an energy thing, too. I’ve poured energy I didn’t think I had into my relationship with her, and its worth has been akin to yielding an entire field of crops from planting one seed.
In that way spending time with her, caring for her and loving her is similar to writing in that only a half hour spent at both pursuits can result in monumental feelings of accomplishment.
Some of the moments I share with her feel like does production of the most poignant poetry, the most resonant narration, the most decisive editorial.
But, ironically, I write just this sentence and a little bit of the former a good few months after I first started this post. Between which time I did end up writing other posts of arguable credibility. So I hadn’t blogged much lately, then, but then again have more recently, now. And I’m at a loss to access the word (if such exists) to describe such a situation. I guess I just wrote too soon, but had the sense to not finish a piece that would prove false unless I waited to complete it when the timing was right and it was truly finished. When its publication heralded the hopefully permanent end to any pause from my writing (or any other passion).
It certainly was a hiatus, (but only and unexpectedly and gladly) somewhat.