Love is Patience

It's been 543 days since we last spoke. She said she wasn't going to read my message. Then she contradicted herself by addressing the last paragraph I wrote, then blocked me. I know she read the whole thing. And I know she knows I'm right. It's not that we always agreed with each other. That's …

Please, Just Come Back to Me

I know the past couple of years have been hard for you, too. I know your entire life has been difficult. That's one of the (many) reasons I fell in love with you. You tugged at my heart strings. So hard my heart fell apart for you, and rebuilt itself around you. I'm sure you've …

“We are at our least rational, when we are at our most vulnerable”

Long John Silver - Black Sails There it is. One sentence that sums up the past two years. Fortunately - vulnerable as she can be and has been exploited because of more times than I could ever be anything other than enraged by - she is at her core the strongest, most rational person I …

The Person Who Gets It Best

Grandma. I told her "the story" a while back, and she simply said: "I don't think anyone's been through what you've been through." And she was probably pretty close to totally right. I'm sure I'm not the first person to fall in love in rehab. I'm sure I'm not the first person to be heartbroken …

No War but the Class War

No war but the class war

You Know What

Heartbreak happens. Unrequited love happens. But what happened to me, and her, is so fucking far beyond as simple as that. Not to mention staggeringly, abysmally wrong. And I'm really getting sick of waiting for someone or the someones responsible to make things right again.

Blog Rebrand

Autism from the Heart, is the working title I'm thinking of for a rebrand of this blog. It feels like now is the right time. I've had this blog for about 10 years. In the past 10 years a lot has happened - especially in the past two years. In 2019 I was diagnosed on …

Love in the Time of Coronavirus – March 22, 2020 (part two of three)

Why am I awake? Even whys seem meaningless now. Hows? Functional. Even more meaningless. Perhaps more interesting though. How am I awake? I'm alive. That's crucial. Doesn't seem to me to require much else that isn't glaringly obvious. I want to hold her. That sounds creepy. I want to cuddle her. Better. I want to …

One Year Sober

Acceptance

I'm sorry Grace. It seems that you genuinely don't understand why I have been, and continue to be in pain because of you. I genuinely don't think that it was at all deliberate on your part, and hope you believe me when I write that I didn't mean to upset you in my reaction to …