Productivity in the form of writing and receptivity in the form of reading are difficult prospects while enduring a 48 hour hangover since your 29th birthday. Especially for an intermittently and currently not employed writer, motivation can be hard to come by under such circumstances. Yet I did decide to check out my WordPress reader on this most unholy of windy and surf-less Sunday afternoons, and discovered courtesy of All Hail The Monkey King that I’d been nominated for the Liebster Award.
A quick Google discovered that the Lieber Award had something to do with schizophrenia research. Then I realised I’d spelled it wrong, re-Googled, and from reading the first blog (formerly Lorraine Reguly’s Life (now Wording Well)) about it found that the “Liebster award was created to recognize (sic) and/or discover new bloggers and welcome them to the blogosphere”. According to my nominator the Monkey King, the rules of the award are as follows:
- Nominees must link back to the person who nominated them;
- Answer the 10 questions which are given to them by the one who nominated;
- Nominate 10 other bloggers for this award who have less than 200 followers, but who deserve to be widely read;
- Create 10 questions for their nominees to answer;
- Let the nominees know you have nominated by going to their blog and notifying them.
So, I thought, what the hell? Q&A from His Banana Belching Highness to yours truly:
MK: One day, you wake up and discover everything that existed before was a dream. You’re Lex Luthor (Superman villain). You are a billionaire. You’re a white, rascist Xenophobe. You’re President of the USA. And you have a super suit. My question. What is the first thing you do?
WJ: Pick up the phone, call Bashar al-Assad, tell him he’s a wanker, then fly over to Syria (assuming the “super suit” grants me such powers) and slap it into him in case he was dismissive.
MK: You have a monkey and it is your best friend for most of your life. But the monkey beats up your partner (who you’ve had a serious relationship for two years), and hospitalises him/her. The monkey has never been violent before, and seems apologetic. The partner says he/she is too scared to go near the monkey anymore. Do you get rid of the monkey? Or the partner? What else might you do?
WJ: I’d get rid of both, naturally after she has gotten out of hospital. No partner of mine could have her arse handed to her by a monkey, and I’d tolerate no violence in any monkey of mine.
MK: Would you ever sleep with your boss? (Feel free to say that’s not your business, that does answer the question).
WJ: Theoretically, yes. I have had enough trouble being hired, let alone getting into bed with female bosses. That said, there are a lot more of them out there these days, and the world is a better place for it. Sex or no.
MK: You discover you can travel in time and space, but only three times. Where would you go?
WJ: Back to before I answered this question with a boring reply.
MK: Favourite TV series?
WJ: Californication. Hank Moody’s a legend. Or a prick. Probably both.
MK: You wake up, and realise the life you knew was a lie. You suddenly recognise the people around you, and the circumstances you are in are familiar. You are at the beginning of the first episode of your favourite TV series. What do you do or what would you do differently?
WJ: I, Hank, wouldn’t have screwed the girl, Mia, seducing me by complimenting me on my book, as I’d know she’s 16. Though I believe it’s perfectly legal to sleep with a 16-year-old in Australia. Either way, come her 18th birthday I’d be all over that.
MK: Turn your Ipod/Spotify/music player on shuffle. What song is playing now?
WJ: Instead I scrolled down Windows Media Player with my eyes closed, then double-clicked. Turns out it was Novelty, by Joy Division, from their Substance album.
MK: Would you rather be a Terminator robot, or a Predator (From the Predator movies).
WJ: Predator. But this time I’d successfully take down Arnie. At least with my self-destruct mode. It would detonate faster this time. What’s the point of giving the enemy so much time to escape (beside a coherent plot)?
MK: You’re a Pokemon. What are you? And would you be friendly with humans?
WJ: Drinkadink. I’ve always got a beer handy for my struggling with alcoholism human master. My most devastating move is alcohol poisoning.
MK: Least popular blog post you’ve ever published?
WJ: Might turn out to be this one.
His Smelly Lice-infestedness only bothered nominating six other blogs, so I’ll nominate five in no particular order:
Questions for them:
1. What do you think are the positive and negative consequences of such a saturated media landscape?
2. Do you think taste in pop culture is declining (think Bieber and Cyrus), or has there always been questionable elements to pop culture?
3. Human-induced climate change: fact or fiction?
4. If you could be a piece of household furniture?
5. What do you enjoy doing when, if ever, you’re hungover?
6. Is content or technical proficiency more important to writing these days, and in the online environment?
7. Where would you like to visit that you never have?
8. Reality TV?
9. If you had the chance to settle on another planet, would you?
10. Do you think the advent of power-steering has probably reduced road rage?
Now, what do I win?